Back In Time Chapter 1
by Supernatural Echoes
Summary: Back In Time, is continued from the And Unexpected Friend, Shotgun Blues, and Pretty Tied Up quiz series on the Addicted to Supernatural Facebook application.
1. Chapter 1

**Back In Time; Chapter 1**

_**Continued from the An Unexpected Friend & Pretty Tied Up quizzes from Addicted To Supernatural on Facebook**__._

_You sit in your living room in Great Falls, Montana staring at the pairs of eyes that are all staring back at you. John, Sam, Dean, Jo, Ellen, Bobby & Cass all anxiously await the beginning of your story that is sure to set everyone on edge. A detailed account of your long history starting from 1936. _

"I guess I'll start off in 1936. I was just about to turn 16 when I got into the biggest fight I'd ever had with my father. He'd refused to take me on a hunt, told me it was too dangerous for me. He'd been taking me with him on small hunts ever since I was 14, and I was convinced I was old enough to handle whatever he was up against. He was determined that I would not be coming and slammed the door in my face, racing down the driveway before I could follow. " You begin slowly.

_Great Falls, Montana; January 9, 1936_

"_Now, now love. You know your father is just trying to protect you." My mother spoke from the kitchen doorway. "He can't protect me forever mother." I muttered angrily heading back up the stairs to my room. _ I absolutely refused to talk to my father for days after that. In 1936 at 15 about to turn 16 I was considered an adult and I was determined to have my parents see it that way. They didn't of course. The day of my 16th birthday it had been two weeks since I'd talked to my dad when he appeared in my doorway.

"_May I come in?" He asked after a quick knock on the open door. " I guess so." I replied not looking up from the book I was reading. He moved to the chair near the end of my bed and paused. "I'd like to explain to you why that hunt was too dangerous, if you'd like to hear it." He stated. "Alright." I answered finally putting my book down. "I was hunting a demon named Lilith. She's supposedly rather important to the big guy downstairs, and immediately recognizable by her white eyes. Even I was in over my head, in fact your uncle Hunt told me to leave her alone until we knew more. I of course didn't listen and not only did I get my own ass kicked but I royally pissed her off." He explained keeping eye contact with me. "Fine. I guess I can accept that, but dad, you can't protect me forever." I stated moving to the edge of my bed. "I know that, and that's another reason I've come up here. I've discussed it with your mother and we've agreed we think you're ready.." He paused. "Ready?" I asked "To become a hunter, full time." He continued. "REALLY!" I shrieked jumping up to hug him. "Yes, and every hunter needs a reliable weapon, so happy birthday." He finished presenting me with a custom 1911 Texas Ranger Colt. "Dad, it's..it's amazing! Thank You!" I exclaimed holding it gently in my hands. _

"Wow, so you've had that gun a long time. You carried that around with you at all times when I met you." John whispered. "She still does." Sam, Dean & Cass all reply. "It's the last thing my parents ever gave to me." You reply quietly. "So what happened next?" Bobby asks.

That night I heard screaming downstairs, I grabbed my new present and ran downstairs. My mom was throwing my dad around our kitchen like a rag doll, my eyes locked on his shotgun on the ground and I knew that something more than the obvious was wrong. I fired off a few shots hoping to distract her, and she turned on me. Which is when I saw her white eyes, my dad tried getting up and grabbing the shotgun and as he did she turned back on him, ripping the shotgun away from his grasp and firing off a few rounds of her own into his chest. I ran over and pleaded with him to stay with me; _"Daddy, Dad please you can't leave me! I need you please! " I begged_. She rounded on me, picked me up and threw me through the kitchen window. I got up and shook off the glass and raced in through the back door, just in time to see her rip his head clean off, turned the gun on herself and shot twice. Next thing I knew black smoke was escaping her mouth and my mothers lifeless body slumped to the floor next to my headless father.

I was devastated of course, and covered in blood, and unsure of how to explain this to anyone. So I did the only thing I could think of. I called my dad's best friend and fellow hunter. Hunter McKinley, known to me as uncle Hunt. "Wait! THE Hunter McKinley? He's damn well known in the hunting world." John asks. "I know, he's known for being one badass son of a bitch and he was, I hunted with him and lived with him for about 4 years." I replied continuing with the story.

He was devastated when he got to the house and saw what happened.

_Great Falls, Montana; January 23, 1936: "(name)! (name)! Where are you?" Hunter demanded from the front door, panic in his voice. "In here." I muttered "Where's here honey? Tell me where you are?" He demanded again. "The kitchen..I'm in the kitchen" I muttered a little louder. _I heard his boots on the floor, but I couldn't take my eyes off the bodies in front of me._ "Holy.. what happened?!" Hunter demanded frozen in the kitchen entrance. "I couldn't stop it..heard screaming..came running." I stuttered out. _ He switched into crisis mode quickly, lifting me out of a large pool of blood and setting me down on the stairs. _ "Alright, I need you to snap out of it and listen to me, Do you understand?!" He demanded hands firm on my shoulders. I nodded weakly. "Go upstairs and clean up. Pack a bag; clothes and weapons, that's it! Burn what you're wearing, I'm going to do my best to clean up here, we're leaving as soon as I'm done. Go!" He instructed turning back towards the kitchen. _

I slowly climbed the stairs and walked into the bathroom off of my room. Washed off the blood, burned my pyjamas , and wrapped a towel around myself. I got dressed quickly, an outfit I often wore hunting and quickly packed a bag. My dad's everyday use weapons were in his closet in my parents room, I closed my eyes and felt my way along to the closet, packed my favorites and grabbed a book from their bookshelf and closed the door.

By the time I was done, Hunter had salted & burned my parents bodies and was finishing disposing of all the evidence, he'd covered the broken window and washed the floor with bleach. Locking the back door he reached for my arm and towed me to his car. He didn't speak for several hours and when he did the question was simple & direct. _"Do you know what happened?" Hunter asked quietly. "It was a demon.. Lilith I think. Dad was hunting her a few weeks ago, said she was one bad ass bitch and he thought he was in over his head, she was high level, something he wasn't ready for." I replied quickly. "How do you know it was Lilith?" Hunter demanded "Dad said she's immediately recognizable from her white eyes. When she turned on me, her eyes were pure white." I replied quietly. _ That was the last time we'd speak of the night of my 16th birthday for years.

By 1940, I had turned 20 and set out on my own from Hunter. I was determined to hunt Lilith down, and Hunter was sure it was a bad idea, so we parted ways. Later that year I met Dallas Saint. The first man I'd ever loved. We met hunting werewolves. _ Rocky Mountains, Colorado; 1940: "Alright you big furball, come out and play already. I'd like to get some sleep sometime soon." I muttered. As I took another step in the dense woods, I heard a snap behind me and spun around; gun raised to find myself face to face with a very fit and very tall man. "Who the hell are you?" I demanded not lowering my gun. "I could ask you the same thing little lady, the woods are no place for girls this late at night." The man drawled in a thick southern accent. "Do I look like I care what you think? Now I'm busy..go away." I snapped backing away. "Looking for unicorns?" He mocked. "Oh ha ha, very funny. Werewolves actually." I snapped again "You're hunting werewolves? You?!" he scoffed. "Yup..tougher than I look, now go away." I replied quickly losing my patience. "Well I'm hunting them too, so how about we team up? Two heads are better than one they say." He asked "I tend to work better alone, but I have a funny feeling you're not going away, so fine." I stated _. We quickly became involved, and stayed together for nearly 5 years, but like everyone else around me he didn't understand my obsession with tracking down Lilith, and we grew apart, finally one day he told me he was leaving. _Phoenix, Arizona; 1945: I heard the door to the hotel room shut and knew it was Dallas from the smell of his aftershave. "I think I may have a lead on Lilith, some hunters sent word saying they had a run in with a demon with white eyes about 20miles from here.." I spoke without looking up from the map in front of me. "I'm sure. Look we need to talk." He spoke calmly. "Mhm." I muttered not looking up. "I'm leaving." He continued quietly. "Okay, when will you be back, cause I was hoping to take off for this place tonight, we'll have to pick a meeting place and stuff." I rambled folding the map. "No, you don't understand. I'm leaving and not coming back. We've just grown apart, you're always distracted, consumed with Lilith.. I can't do it anymore." Dallas explained. "Well then leave. I'm not stopping you." I finally looked up, my face blank. _I was so consumed with my own problems, that I barely noticed or cared when he walked out the door.

In 1946, the day of my 26th birthday to be specific, I walked into another hotel room and found I had a visitor. While I didn't know him exactly, there was a weird air of familiarity about him, and when he turned around I instantly recognized him as Michael. _Salt Lake City, Utah; January 23, 1946: "Hello (name), it has been a very long time." He spoke calmly. "Yah, about 18 years or so right? You're Michael aren't you?" I asked calmly. "I am. We need to talk." He replied moving closer. "Is that so? And what exactly do we need to talk about?" I asked him sceptically. "Your future. There's a war that's to happen about 60 years from now and we need your help" He answered me sternly. "60 years from now I'll be 86.. I won't be in any shape to help in a war" I answered sarcastically. "Well that's what I'm here to talk to you about, God wants to change that. He wants to make you immortal, freeze you now in your prime so that when the war comes, you'll be around and in perfect shape to help" He replied tranquilly. "Wow, that's some idea, what exactly am I supposed to say to that?" I asked shocked. "Well we're hoping you say yes.. Make our jobs just that little bit easier" Michael answered moving closer. "God thinks I can help with this war that happens in 60 years? He thinks I'll make a difference?" I asked distressed. "Yes, he believes you will be a key in whether we win or lose" He answered matter of factly. "Well, I guess I can't really say no then, can I? Freeze me up." I answered flatly. _

It was a simple process Michael moved to just a few inches in front of me, placed my hand on his heart , and placed one of his hands on my head, the other on my heart. Closed his eyes and let this bright light erupt from his hands, and when I opened my eyes he was gone. "So you've been 26 for 60 years?" Jo asked. "Yes." You reply. "Completely frozen in time?" Ellen asked. "Yes." You reply again. "What happened next?" Dean asks through a mouth full of potato chips.

Well after that things really quieted down on the supernatural front, so I took some time out from my obsession and did something constructive. I enrolled at Harvard University as one of the few women studying Medicine. I graduated with honours, and by the time 1958 rolled around I was a qualified doctor. After I earned that roll, I took off on the road again in my search for Lilith, never getting any closer. In 1963 I got bored and lonely and took off again to another medical school program, this time at Stanford University, under an assumed name of Arianna Sawyer. It was this time around that I met a girl named Camdyn Grace, who quickly became my best friend & roommate. She knew nothing of the hunting world and I worked hard to keep it from her. Hiding my weapons in secret places, sneaking in through windows late at night when I needed a release. She was in her mid twenties and like me a bit of an outsider. It was here at Stanford that I also met Dr. Edmund Price, he was my favourite professor and he also became my medical mentor. He was impressed with my knowledge of medicine and I often found myself spending late nights with him learning things far more advanced than other students in my classes. "Things you already knew." Sam piped up. "Ha ha, true, but no one else knew that." You laugh. I refused to date anyone throughout those times, determined to keep my focus. I tried to keep clear of trouble during this time but as a hunter trouble found me anyways, and late one night after leaving Dr. Price's lab I was attacked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Back In Time Chapter 2**

"So what happened next? What was it, or who was it? Were you badly hurt?" Sam asks curiously. "Well it was a demon, and oddly enough my biggest priority was keeping my secrecy, so I wrestled with the bloody thing until we were somewhere more private before I really started to wail on him."

_Stanford University, February 21, 1964: "Alright you son of a bitch, let's do this" I sneered pulling the iron knife I generally kept around my ankle. _After a few minutes of side stepping him, recovering from a few good punches aimed at my face, I finally found my opening and dove to at least get the demon out of its meat suit. But as I dove for him he finally spoke._ "Lilith sends her regards. She wanted to come herself but you know how these things are. Busy planning other things 'n all." He sneered backing away just a little. "What are you talking about?!" I demanded breathlessly. "She knows you're looking for her of course, although she is surprised at how persistent you are. She sent me to tell you something." He taunted. "What! What did she want to tell me!" I demanded angrily moving towards him. "That you aren't the one that kills her." He stated plainly. _I stood shocked and as I opened my mouth to demand where exactly she was hiding, the demon took off, leaving his dead meat suit rotting. I quickly composed myself and walked quickly back to my dorm room, hoping that Camdyn was asleep. I was too busy processing the latest information thrown into my world to figure out an excuse. Clearly luck wasn't on my side. _"OH MY GOD! Arianna! What happened to you?" Camdyn asked shocked. "I uh..I was mugged, on my way back from Dr. Price's office. It's okay I'm fine." I brushed her off, heading for the bathroom to clean myself off and assess the damage. _ It wasn't as bad as I thought, a black eye, a cut above my left eye, one down my cheek, one across my nose and a split lip. I lifted my shirt making sure that everything else was in tact and was happy to find no visible bruising anywhere else. After washing off the blood and changing my clothes I quietly padded into my half of the room and climbed into bed. My head was spinning with this new scrap of information, just when I thought I could live without hunting her, she finds a way to get to me. The people I knew were shocked when they saw me the next day, but impressed I was up and about. I continued going to my classes hoping they'd have the same effect in wiping Lilith from my memory, but the longer I left it all go untouched the more pent up aggravation built up inside me and I started feeling angry all the time.

It was nearly 3 weeks since the attack when I finally decided it was time to get back to hunting her, so I wrote three letters. One stating I was leaving school, the second to Dr. Price, thanking him for his time and attention to helping me become the best doctor I could be, and the third to Camdyn apologizing for leaving so suddenly in the middle of the night without really saying goodbye. I waited until I knew Camdyn would be soundly asleep before I grabbed my pre-packed things, threw them all into my new 1963 Mercury Comet and delivered my last two letters. I decided I needed more information on her than I had, and I had only ever known one hunter who had hunted her. So I headed for the one place, I'd sworn I'd never go back to again. "You headed home." John speaks quietly. "I headed home." You confirm.

It took me nearly two days to arrive back in Great Falls, and as I drove up the familiar yet strange driveway, I held my breath. I hadn't been back to this place in nearly 30 years. I stopped in front of the house, relieved to see it was still deserted, reluctantly pulled out my old key and opened the large front door. I shut the door behind me, dropped my bag, took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Completely covered in dust, the window I had been thrown through replaced. No one had been here since that night, which made me think Hunter must have replaced the window from the outside. I shut my eyes blocking out the horrifying images that still haunted me when I slept sometimes, and went upstairs, the beds remained unmade. My parents covers gently tossed back, mine tangled and half on the floor, my dresser drawers all pulled out to different points, clothes hanging out. No, no one had clearly not been here since that night. I closed the two doors, and went back downstairs, and walked directly outside through the side door, and into our guest house. Closed the door behind me and pulled up the door in the floor and hesitantly walked into my father's old panic/weapons room. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, finally finding the light switch on the wall beside the door. I flicked on the lights and gasped in awe at the wall in front of me, completely covered in research and all about or referring to Lilith. As I reached for the table covered in books and papers, I began rifling through it, and suddenly became aware of the noise from above me. Slowly I reached for my gun and placed it in front of me on the table. When the large door in the guest house floor opened, I knew I was in for some sort of trouble, and when the panic room door creaked open, my whole body tensed.

_Great Falls, Montana; March 17, 1964; "Alright, whoever you are, put your hands up and don't move." The familiar male voice instructed. _I gripped my gun tightly before spinning around and aiming at the familiar figure. _"Hi Uncle Hunt. It's been a while." I stated bluntly. _Watching Hunter's face go from angry to shocked. _"A little old to be sneaking up on younger more agile intruders don't you think?" I asked sarcastically turning back around to the research, lowering my weapon. "(name) Is that you?" But..how is it possible, you look barely older than 23, and you should be over 40." He asked shocked not moving from his position at the door. "44 actually, and I shouldn't look any older than 26 technically, but thanks." I answered over my shoulder. "I, I don't understand." Hunter stuttered starting to move closer. "It's a very long story, involving a lot of higher beings and a lot of outside help. What are you doing here Hunter?" I asked finally turning to face him. "I, I have a friend who looks after the house, he told me he saw a tall brunette female go in and come out and the go into the guest house, I thought you were a demon." He replied. "And you what? Planned on taking me down yourself at 73? My 16 year old self could have beat you. Maybe you should have taken your friend along." I scoffed, turning back to the research. "He did." Another male voice answered with the sound of a gun being loaded. _

"Well, who was it?!" Dean asks anxiously. "I'm getting to it." You smirk. " "Okay wait! Before you continue." Dean drifts off. Walking towards the kitchen and sitting back down with a beer. "Okay..continue." "Alright, so it was.." You begin. "Why didn't you get me one?" Sam asks playfully. "You didn't ask.. now shut it!" Dean smirks back. "Can I keep going now?" You ask sarcastically. "YES!" Everyone replies at once.

_Great Falls, Montana; March 17, 1964: "You're not really going to shoot me Dallas." I answered coolly not bothering to pick up my own weapon and turning to face him. The shock on his face was almost laughable. "You look good for 45..little far north for your tastes though aren't you?" I asked leaning back against the table behind me. "How'd you know it was me?" He asked sternly, lowering his weapon. "I've never met anyone else with that thick an accent, and you still wear the same aftershave..that alone is quite recognizable, might want to change that if you're going to continue to hunt. " I replied sarcastically. _Both Hunter & Dallas stood there staring at me, unsure of what to say or do. _"You guys are going to start catching spiders if you don't close those mouths, anyways I'd love to stay and chat but I've got a demon to find, and you guys are wasting my time." I sighed turning back to the research and pulling out a notepad. "Still hunting Lilith?" Dallas asked quietly. "You got it. Only this time I've got stuff to work with." I replied flatly. "You know it's hopeless. You can't beat her. I thought you would have learned that by now." Hunter replied. "Wrong. I can beat her, and I will. Now why don't you go home Hunter, can't have you having a heart attack or something. And take Dallas with you. I'm sure he's not thrilled to see me either." I instructed, not bothering to look at them._

They did as I told them and went back to Hunter's. I slept in the guest house that night, mostly because I was too scared to sleep in the house, and because I couldn't bear to take myself away from all of the research. I continued for the next three days to sift through all of my dad's research before finding anything. It was nothing big when I did find something, just a small tip that stated Lilith enjoyed taking some leave..in Europe. Places with incredibly rich histories, the older the city the better. It wasn't much but it was more than I'd started with.

_Great Falls, Montana; March 21, 1964: "Got Yah." I muttered under my breath. "Guess that aftershave really is a bit much." Dallas spoke interrupting my train of thought. "Not you, Lilith. I finally have a somewhat solid lead." I replied. "You really haven't changed." Dallas muttered. "Physically or personality wise?" I asked quietly "Both. You look the same as when I last saw you, and you're still obsessed with finding Lilith." He replied "Guess so, look are you hear for a reason? Don't you have a family or something? Or are you just here to pick at me?" I demanded turning to face him. "I needed to ask you something. Did my leaving you all those years ago have any effect on you?" He asked quietly. "Honestly. At the time, no. Not for 10 years at least. Look it was nice seeing you n all but uhh.." I trailed off. "You've gotta go, yah figured. Where are you going this time?" Dallas asked sadly. "Prague." I replied shortly. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Back In Time Chapter 3**

_Great Falls, Montana; March 21, 1964: "Prague?" Dallas asked confused. "Yah, the tip I found says Lilith likes to vacation in Europe in cities that are old and rich and history. I figured seeing as Prague is one of the oldest cities in Europe, it'd be a good place to start." I explained packing some research into a bag. "When do you leave?" Dallas asked quietly "First flight out in the morning." I answered quickly "Don't." Dallas muttered. "What?" I asked confused. "Don't go. Just stay..with me. Settle down.. we can be together." He pleaded grasping my hand. "I can't, and you know it. It isn't in the cards for me, never has been." I replied trying to keep my voice steady. "Please do me a favour and keep an eye on my house for me, I'm not sure when I'll be back, and I'd like to have something to come back to whenever I do get around to finding my way home." I asked quickly pulling my hand from his. "Don't." He muttered again. "Goodbye Dallas." I turned and sped up the stairs and into the main house, checking the locks as I passed through each door. _

Before taking off for the airport I drove down the road to Hunters house to say goodbye to him for the last time. I didn't know how long I'd be in Europe and there would be no way of letting me know if he passed on, so I decided to make peace with the idea while I could. I spent what was left of the night at the airport and in the morning boarded my plane for Prague. "Was she there?" Sam asks "Seems like a long shot to me, but then again after all those years looking for her and learning about her from experience, your judgement might have been dead on." Bobby states. "So..was she there?" Dean asks curiously. "Oh she was there, it took me a few weeks to find her and let's just say she wasn't happy to see me." You reply cocking an eyebrow. "Sweet." Dean smirks. "I'd finally gotten a solid lead mid April, people had seen a little girl about 13, bright green eyes and pale blonde hair sightseeing with a large entourage, I'm not sure if it was just blind hope or instinct that told me it was her but I decided to follow the lead.

_Prague, Czech Republic; April 18, 1964: "Excuse me, have you seen a girl she'd look about 13, bright green eyes, and pale blonde hair?" I asked the museum curator. "Well miss we see hundreds of girls here with their mothers everyday to ask me to remember one girl in particular.." The curator drifted off in his heavily accented English. "She would have asked you directly, asking very direct and unusual questions for a 13/14 year old girl, things that even some historians don't know?" I pressed. "Well yes! Now that you mention it, there was one girl. Just as you described her, she was with a rather tall man, her father I believe." The curator replied. "Sure, did she ask about any one place in particular? A specific sight? A place you could find her if you remembered anything?" I pressed harder determined to find Lilith before I lost the trail altogether. "Well most of her questions were centered around the Astronomical Clock located in the Old Town square. But I rather dismissed her inquiries as when I asked her for a location I may contact her if I remembered anything she told me she would be staying in Prague Castle, quite impossible given it's a popular tourist attraction." The curator finished. "Thank you!" I replied hastily dashing for the main doorway. _

"So did you go to the Astronomical Clock or Prague Castle first?" Cass asks curiously. "The castle. If that's where Lilith was staying, then I wasn't going to waste any time with the clock. Prague castle is supposedly the biggest castle in the world, which meant thousands of places Lilith could settle herself without being seen. Which meant I could be in there for hours, and I needed to find her before they found me." You explain.

_April 18, 1964; Prague Castle: "Closed, wonderful. Well there's got to be a way inside without being seen somehow." I muttered looking at the locked gates. "Excuse me miss, may I help you?" The castle guard asked as he approached. "No, no thank you, just disappointed I've missed visiting hours that's all. I'm writing this history paper for my university class back home and my flight leaves in the morning and I'm short a few facts, which I can't finish the paper without..I guess I'll take the fail." I lied smoothly, batting my eyelashes while looking terribly disappointed. "Well, I..I think I could help you with your questions." The guard offered blushing slightly. "Really! Oh Thank you so much! Okay so how many entrances are there? And how many are unguarded?" I asked jumping at the opportunity, flirting dropped to the wayside. "Well there are 20 known doors into the castle, including the churches. But what most people don't know is that there are secret underground passageways from the churches into the castle, one even leads to the main garden." The guard revealed clearly trying to impress. "Well that is interesting, oh no, look at the time! I've got to get to my next appointment but thank you so much for the information!" I brushed him off and took off sprinting towards the main cathedral. _

"I always knew you were easy." John jokes "HEY!" You laugh defensively "Look, if y'all keep interrupting her we're never going to hear this..so until she actually pauses or tells you to comment..shut it!" Ellen barked settling into the chair comfortably.

_As I reached the cathedral I slowed to a fast walk and quickly snuck into the church basement, happy to find a large locked iron gate. Took a step back and shot the lock. Knowing I had definitely drawn some sort of attention, I quickly dashed through the gate, locked it behind me and took off at a run. As I reached the end, I found myself in a large colourful garden, and there at the center was a tall blonde girl that looked about 18. "Lilith." I growled. She looked up at the sound of her name and turned to face me. "Well. You've found me." She giggled "It's only taken you..ohh 28 ½ years? I'll give you this..I wasn't expecting you here." She continued in a clear voice. "What led you to Prague?" She continued. "You. I found a nice clue in some very old research that said you enjoyed Europe for it's rich histories. Prague is one of the oldest cities in Europe, where else would I start?" I replied smoothly, walking towards her slowly. "You're much smarter than I've given you credit for. But, this doesn't end today." She smiled. "And why not?" I sneered moving closer. "Because, you aren't the one that kills me." She replied taking a step backwards. _

I knew I was losing my chance, so I dove for her. But halfway between us, the large male the museum curator spoke of, dove for me, suddenly my thoughts were on surviving first and Lilith second. "_GET OUT OF MY WAY!" I snapped throwing a punch to the demons face. "Not Likely" He sneered back, throwing me head over heels into of the large brick walls. I reached for the rosary attached to my belt as he picked me up again, I delivered a quick kick to the gut and fell on top of him. "This doesn't concern you, back off and I consider letting you walk!" I snapped angrily. I knew he'd say no, so as he opened his mouth to reply, I took my shot. I dropped the rosary into his mouth and snapped his mouth shut. My body pinning his and my hands keeping his mouth clamped on the rosary I uttered the exorcism and as I finished the last line, looked up to see Lilith smile, give a wave and escape her vessel's body. "NO!" I shouted jumping up off of the empty vessel. "Where, where am I?" The girl asked confused. "Prague Castle, where are you from?" I asked looking around wildly. "Prague, I live across town." She replied confused. "You'll be fine, Just go straight home, and it's probably better not to try and understand all this." I instructed, getting up and heading back towards the tunnel. _

"So you lost her, did you find her again?" Dean asks "A few times, I just made a list of all the most historical cities and picked randomly. At that point though she knew I was on to her, so she started travelling with more bodyguards. I tracked her from Prague to Bucharest and there I was nearly hospitalized. Her bodyguards broke 3 ribs, a cheekbone, a rather nasty cut to my stomach. But this was as close as I'd ever been to her and I wasn't about to let a few injuries slow me down." "By November 1965, I found her in Brussels, and there I was hospitalized. At this point she was travelling with a massive entourage and I was too stubborn to give up. I was in critical condition, a punctured lung, another 3 broken ribs, a broken ankle, and a severe gash on my thigh which had nicked a major artery. It took months to recover and by the time I was in shape enough to do everything on my own it was already late April 1966. I'd been off her trail for 5 months, and it took me another 4 to track her down again." You explain speeding up the story to save time. "So how long did this go on? You finding her, and getting your ass kicked?" Dean asks "Excuse me! I managed to make her entourage smaller for a while, but she just built it back up." You defend. "Anyways, it went on for a while, another 7 years to be exact." You explain. "7 Years! Just Europe?" John asks shocked. "Well, Europe, Asia and Russia. Anyways by 1973, I hadn't gotten wind of Lilith in a while and I was worried that I was losing it. I'd tracked a group of demons to Venice, Italy but was too exhausted and worn out to even think of going after them. I was still recovering from my last round with Lilith and her gang, and was saving all my energy for the next time I'd get my shot at her. What I didn't know was that Lilith had been sent back to the pit, so I was chasing and waiting for nothing. It was in February 1973 that I walked into my Venice hotel room to find I wasn't alone."

_Venice, Italy; February 1973: "Alright, who are you and what do you want?" I demanded pulling my gun. "We've been over this, that won't help you." Michael answered. "Michael. It's been nearly 3 decades, thanks for..dropping in." I answered sarcastically opening a beer. "What are you doing (name), you're a mess. Barely alive." Michael demanded. "I can't die, so who cares?" I replied flatly. "We do! Just because you can't die doesn't mean you can't wear yourself out until you're no use, and right now, you're no use!" He snapped. "So give me a few months, I'll heal back up, I always do." I replied flatly again. "Not this time. You're body is too far gone. Now I have to intervene. " He answered walking towards me. "Woah there chuckles, and how exactly are you going to do that?" I asked barely conscious. "By giving you some grace, again." Michael answered picking me up off the chair._

I blacked out, and when I woke up in the morning Michael was gone. I was feeling better than ever, so good in fact that I took off in search of the group of demons I'd tracked in, and when I found them I took all 6 of them out by myself. The new strength I was feeling gave me the confidence to continue my hunt for Lilith. So I took off, again. This time on a rampage. I killed anything supernatural I came in contact with, and a few months later I was calling on Michael for more grace. This became the patter for the next few years. "You became addicted." Sam interrupts. You look up into everyone's shocked yes. "Is he right?" John demands. "Yes. By the time 1975 came around, I was calling on Michael for grace even if I didn't need it, and because it was his job to keep me alive and strong, he gave it to me. Strangely enough he didn't realize how addicted I was. By the time I'd finished a fight I'd be shaking so hard it looked like I was vibrating. " You explain avoiding everyone's eyes. "So, when you were helping me recover from demon blood, you mentioned you had a friend who'd been addicted to something similar. There never was a friend, it was you." Sam states


	4. Chapter 4

**Back In Time Chapter 4**

_Then: You finally reveal your secret and everyone tenses up. John becomes instantly outraged, another addict in the group. Sam is relieved but saddened to find out the only you knew how to help him was from experience. Dean sits tense and unsure of how to handle the news that someone else close to him suffered from an addiction that threatened to ruin everything. Castiel is relieved to know the full truth but feels angry knowing you used one of his brothers that way. Bobby, Ellen & Jo feel uneasy and unsure of how to handle the truth or the intense atmosphere surrounding you, Castiel & The Winchesters. "There never was a friend..it was you.. you knew from experience.." Sam mumbles softly again. _

Now: "Yes it was me. I became addicted to angel grace, just as Sam was addicted to Demon's blood." You murmur quietly. Slowly bowing your head ashamed. "Well, no wonder the angels thought it was time to be honest! You're holding the mother load of all secrets! Ours all seem like tiny grains of salt compared to yours! An addict! Of all things I thought I knew about you.. THIS never crossed my mind! I thought you were better than that!" John roars. "EXCUSE ME! Sometimes no matter how good you are, things happen! I thought it was helping me get closer to my goal of finding & killing Lilith. Helping me get revenge for my family.. and of all the people who I thought would understand that drive, I thought it would be you John!" You snap angrily. "The drive for revenge for family..maybe. But the addiction.. dropping to that level to attain it..never." John snaps back. "DAD!" Sam & Dean intervene. "Sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to or that you know are wrong. And once you're that far gone, all you care about is being as strong as possible so when that moment comes.. when the opportunity for revenge happens, you're ready, and NOTHING will stop you." Sam defends. "Except when that moment does come.. everything stops you, because it's in that moment when you realize how far gone you really are.. or.. nothing stops you like you planned, but the moment that you've dreamed of for months, or years has enormous consequences and that's when you realize how far gone, how wrong you are." You continue.

As everyone stands up tense and staring at each other, Ellen finally breaks the silence. "Well, we've completely missed lunch, how about we have some dinner, and take some time to calm down. Then (name) can finish her story, it isn't over is it?" Ellen asks. "No, it's not over." You reply keeping your eyes locked on Sam/Dean/Cass. "Well I'm gonna go get dinner goin', Jo, Bobby, would you like to help me?" Ellen asks. "Definitely." Bobby & Jo reply walking quickly back into the kitchen behind Ellen. John turns and walks up the stairs without a word. You watch Sam/Dean/Cass walk out the back door and into the backyard, you follow silently.

"How could you have never told me any of this before?" He asks quietly. "There's never really a good time to explain a history like this, or to bring up the fact that I was an addict, especially in the middle of an apocalypse." You replay inching closer. "Maybe not, but you should have told me, found some way..some time, to sit me down and explain. It's part of who you are." He answers turning to face you. "I didn't tell you because I'm not proud of that time in my life, and I don't like to think about it, and because I was afraid you'd look at me differently." You admit sheepishly looking up at him. "But you're right, I should have told you. And I'm sorry." You reply closing the distance between the two of you. "Please don't tell me it gets worse though." He mutters into your hair. "Just for a few more years, it gets better after that. I promise." You reply quietly. "Alright, I can handle that..I guess. Let's go eat." He finally answers pulling you towards the house.

After a filling dinner, everyone tenses again, knowing the story will continue soon enough. "Well, shall we continue?" Bobby asks. "Not without John." You state getting up and climbing the stairs. As you reach the bedroom you softly knock and wait for an answer, realizing it won't be coming, you answer the door. "You're going to have to talk to me sometime." You state bluntly. "Do I?" John mutters back. As you're about to answer he cuts you off. "Just tell me one thing, and if I like the answer I'll come back down." John asks louder. "Alright." You answer. "Were you still addicted when we met?" Were you sneaking off in the middle of hunts for a fix?" John demands standing up. "No. By the time I'd met you I'd been clean for 2 years." You reply honestly. "How much worse does it get?" John asks. "Not nearly as bad as it could have been, but it's bad enough. Look John, I realize as my best friend, I should have told you all of this long ago, but like I told Sam/Dean/Cass, this is a point in my long life that I'm not proud of, I don't like to talk about it or even think about it, for me it's in the past and that's all that matters. I need to know that you, that we, can get past this, and come out of it as stronger friends." You plead from the doorway. "As long as you promise to be brutally honest from this point forward." He asks turning to face you. "Done. At this point I'm sorta stuck with being honest anyways.. now will you please come downstairs, and eat the amazing dinner Ellen made while I continue?" You ask motioning for the stairs. "Fine, alright, let's go. I'm starving." John agrees smirking walking towards the door.

"Alright we're all here. Now can you continue?" Bobby asks as John sits on the couch with a plate of food. "Yes. Now I want you to understand why I'm about to jump from "75 to '81. Those 5 years went by in a brutal blur. I didn't sleep much either hunting or crouched in a corner of some dirty hotel room going through withdrawals when Michael wouldn't answer my calls. I started looking for other..outlets." You start slowly. "Drugs?" Sam asks. "Unfortunately.. It didn't last very long, when I realized that they didn't have any effect on me at all, a side effect of the permanent pureness the grace had on my system, I learned that years later that this effect had always been there, right from when Michael saved me as a child." You explain. "So, we're now in 1981? 2 years before you met me?" John asks. "Yes exactly. We're picking up in Istanbul, Turkey. Where I was hunting vampires of all things." You begin.

_August 23, 1981; Just outside Istanbul, Turkey: "Alright you blood sucking fiends, let's go already. I'm hungry." I muttered to myself sitting outside a run down farmhouse that was serving as their nest. As twilight hit I backed up into the brush and pulled my machete from my belt. The door opened and 3 of them stepped out stretching. I stood up and put my machete into the back of my belt, and slowly walked towards them. "Oh thank God! I've been walking for miles! My car broke down about 10 miles up the road and I haven't seen a single house since! Can you help me?" I pleaded, smirking to myself. They smirked too, thinking I was their next victim. "I think so miss, would you like to come in the house?" He asked in a heavily accented English. "Or, if you could maybe come back to my car and help me fix it?" I asked staying where I was. "I think it'd be more fitting for you to come inside." He challenged walking towards me. I smiled, I was baiting him, and it was working. "I'd really rather you just came to my car." I replied taking a step back. "I'd really rather you just came inside..now." He sneered, advancing and motioning for the other two to follow. "You're scaring me now, I think I'll just walk back to my car, thanks anyways." I slowly turned, switching my machete quickly to in front of me rather than behind, and listened as I quickened my pace. "I don't think so." He sneered "Me either." I sneered back, swinging at his head with the machete. "Who's next?" I asked kicking the headless body to the ground. The two growled and headed straight for me, when suddenly I was standing in my dirty hotel room looking out at the stunning Hagia Sophia. "What the hell?" I muttered. "I hear you've been looking for me." Michael muttered from the darkness. "Where the hell have you been? I've been going crazy!" I snapped moving towards him. "And why would you take me out of there in the middle of a hunt!" I demanded angrily. "There are some higher powers who believe you're in too deep with certain things, they have decided it is time to intervene." He replied moving towards me. I backed up. "What's going on Michael? Intervene how?" I demanded taking a step backwards and towards the door, but as I spun for the door Michael wrapped his arms around me and before I knew what was happening I was gazing around at a large white & gold room. _

"The Green Room?" Dean asks. "Yes. But not as you know it. They'd stripped it down. There was a bed, a sink, a toilet, a small table and a small bookshelf with some of my favourites."

_August 23, 1981;The Green Room: "What the hell is this Michael?" I demanded, looking around helplessly seeing no door. "It's time for you to clean yourself up. You're addiction is too far gone, it's taking toll on me as well now. You can not leave this room until the Angels are satisfied you're healthy again. "WHAT? MICHAEL! MICHAEL! HELLO?" I screamed for hours before laying on the bed helpless. I woke a few hours later to find food on the small table and after eating it, well, that's when the withdrawal started. It'd been days since I'd had any grace, and I was about to feel the full wrath of it. As I lay back down to sleep, I was suddenly violently sick and lay curled around the toilet violently shaking for hours. When the shaking stopped, I crawled back to the small bed and fell to sleep shivering. It was the least restful sleep I've ever had. Nightmares mixed in with brutal & horrid memories of my parents murder. I was sure I'd been screaming in my sleep and thrashing violently. But when I woke up, everything was the same. Except I wasn't alone. "You're absolutely pathetic. Is this how I raised you? I thought I taught you better?" The male voice sneered from across the room, full of disappointment. "Daddy." I whispered crawling to the end of the bed. "You're disgusting. A monster." He taunted again. "I'm sorry Dad, I just.. I needed to get revenge! She killed you & Mom! It was all I could do! Please, please forgive me!" I pleaded and cried, and got up to rush into his arms, like I would have if I had been a child, only as I reached the spot he'd been standing, I found myself alone. I hit the floor bawling once again for what seemed like the hundredth time, when suddenly there was another voice from beside me. "They're never going to let you out of here alive you know, you're tainted, a filthy creature, an unholy creature. They should murder you in your sleep." The female voice spoke this time. I looked up into the face of my 16 year old, human self. "Wh, What?" I stuttered. "No! They won't!" I screamed. But once again the girl disappeared, but in her place..was Lilith. "YOU!" I screamed. She smiled at me and as I ran, she threw me into the wall, I got up determined to end this for good, and raced towards her again, but once again she threw me, this time into the bookshelf. As I crawled out of the rubble & books, she was gone. _

"Hallucinations?" Sam asked. "The most vivid ones you can imagine. Horrid things, I started reliving my parents murders, every horrific event in my long life, in vivid detail." I stopped sleeping, which didn't matter much. I was continually sick for days, and I got thinner, I stopped eating because of the sickness. I didn't touch the books, mostly because I spent my days on the bed or the floor. But slowly, the shivering stopped, and so did the shaking, the sickness eased. I began to eat again, but one day, I got a visitor.

_September 18, 1981; The Green Room: "How are you feeling?" Michael asked cautiously. "Well I'm bruised from being thrown around, I can't believe you guys would just let this happen to me! How the hell have you been letting Lilith in!" I demanded "She hasn't been here. Lilith has been back in hell for several years now. What you are experience are hallucinations, the most vivid ones possible." Michael explained sitting on the bed beside me. "Wait..What? So all those years I got further into the addiction, travelling around Europe & Asia looking for her..I was chasing, nothing?" I demanded, more angry with myself than anything. "Unfortunately, yes." He replied simply. "How long have I been in here?" I asked afraid of the answer. "Nearly 4 weeks. It's almost over though, I can promise you that." He put one hand on my shoulder and then he was gone. He was right though, it was nearly over. Three days before it ended, it got worse. I tried to remind myself they weren't real, but whatever supernatural hold the addiction had on me, it was enough to continue throwing me around the room. I spent an entire day and a half being tortured and thrown around, by my own self. But suddenly it stopped, and when Michael found me on my last day, I was bruised and swollen from when I'd thrown myself into the table, sink, etc. But he came and that's all that mattered. _

"_It's time go home (name)." Michael spoke crouching down next to me, pulling my hands away from my face. "Where am I supposed to go?" I asked. "Well, I'm asking you to stay away from hunting for a while. The longer you let yourself rest, the healthier and stronger you'll be." He responded. "Okay, then take me home, please." I whispered. When I opened my eyes again I was sitting on the old furniture in my old house. Michael was nowhere to be found. But beside me were two large suitcases filled with new clean clothes. As I got up to roam the house, I started thinking of things I could do to keep myself busy in my time off, and decided on renovating the house. I ripped out the kitchen, replacing it with more up to date appliances, and replacing the windows. I renovated all the bedrooms and replaced all the furniture, except for my parents bed, it was the one thing I couldn't get rid of, but I refinished it. I updated the panic room, and redid the roof. I built a large garage for all the cars I had acquired over the years, and underneath it a training room to help me get stronger. The day I installed the new front doors, I got a visitor. A boy in his mid twenties, and the spitting image of Dallas Saint. "Excuse me?" He asked cautiously. "Yes?" I asked holding in my shock at how much he looked like the first man I'd ever loved. "I was asked to give this to the owner of the house whenever she returned, I guess that's you." He explained holding out a large box. "I guess it is, I'm (name), who are you?" I asked accepting the large box. "I'm Gage Saint, I live just up the road." He replied extending a hand. "Nice to meet you Gage, any chance your dad is Dallas Saint?" I asked already knowing the answer. "Yah" He replied quietly. "How is he? I haven't seen him in a while." I asked hoping for news. "He died, 4 years ago. Something ripped him to shreds in the woods." He answered me solemnly. "I'm sorry. He was a good man. Look, I'm always here. So if you ever need anything, please feel free to drop by." I replied giving him a small smile. "Yah, thanks. Good luck with the house." He waved goodbye and got into his truck and drove down the road. _

"So. What was in the box?" John asked. "I closed the new front door and walked into the new living room sitting on the large carpeted floor & pulled out my knife slicing open the box. Inside were what looked like at least a hundred medium sized leather bound books. On top of those books was a note, the words were simple.

_October 17, 1981;Great Falls, Montana: "For all you've missed –Dallas". I placed the note on the coffee table & pulled out the first leather bound book. April 1, 1964: "Dear (name), By now you're somewhere in Europe, maybe still in Prague, maybe in somewhere more romantic like Rome, who knows, but I know wherever you are you're still determined and stubborn. I have no idea when or if you're going to read all this but I feel that some day you'll come back to this house and this town and when you do, I have this funny feeling you'll look just like you always have. You won't have aged a day. So I'm going to keep writing on what you've missed until you come back" All the journals were like this, events that happened in and around Great Falls, memorable hunts he went on. But nothing caught my eye like one date& one page in particular. February 8, 1973: Hunter died yesterday. And while I'm deeply saddened by it, I can't help but feel happy for him. He died in his sleep at age 83, for such an amazing hunter, he's insanely lucky to go so easily, and I hope that I'll be so lucky. I don't know where you are, like usual, but I know that wherever, whenever you read this, you'll be more sad than I am, and I wished that you could have been with the man who helped raise you, I know you'll wish it too." I spent the next several days reading the journals Dallas had kept for me over my long & extended absence. The day I finished the journals, I brought flowers to his grave, and dug a small hole near his tombstone with a little box that held a short note thanking him for all he'd done, telling him that I never stopped loving him, and I never would. _

_I spent the rest of the year quietly. I'd never lived so domestically. No hunting, it was so normal. I had Gage over once a week for dinner, he was a hunter and eager to hear about his dad the way I knew him. I was desperate for stories of the world I so desperately missed. I was starting to be able to live comfortably when one day while working on my precious 1969 Camaro I found, I got a visitor, someone I hadn't seen in a long time. "You look very healthy." He stated from the doorway. "That was the point wasn't it? But thank you." I replied turning to face Michael. I grabbed a rag and started wiping my grease smeared hands down. "It's time for you to get back out there" He stated again. "Why? I'm happy like this, it's quiet..it's safe." I answered leaning on the hood of my car. "We need you to find someone. He's important." Michael replied. "Who?" I asked suddenly intrigued. "His name is John Winchester, his family has recently been struck by tragedy, and he's on his way to becoming a hunger, a good one." Michael informed me. "What does he have to do with me?" I asked confused. "If you find him, he's going to become a very good friend, and he'll be a great ally when the war we've spoke of comes." Michael continued. "Alright, if he's going to help in this big war, where do I find him?" I asked turning back to finish my car so I could leave soon. "We don't know, but we want you to go to Colorado first, and find a hunter named Daniel Elkins. He's going to teach you everything you don't already know. Then you'll be able to track John Winchester down." Michael stated. "Done." I replied slamming the car hood down._


	5. Chapter 5

**Back In Time Chapter 5**

_Then: After admitting to your grace addiction, you retold the story of how you became clean, meanwhile explaining how you knew how to help Sam with his addiction to Demon blood. You retell the months after your rehab, and the renovation of the large house in Great Falls. Your meeting with Gage Saint, the crushing journals Dallas kept for you years after your exit, and finally your visit from Michael with instruction to find John Winchester after an educational visit to Colorado to visit a hunter named Daniel Elkins. "Done, let's do this chuckles" you smirk, slamming the hood of your car down._

Now: "I closed up the garage and walked back into the house, locking all the windows and doors, preparing for another extended absence. I packed a large duffle bag full of clothes, another full of weapons I hadn't touched in over a year. As I pulled the car around to the front, I took a moment to look at the house I'd made mine, in the desperate effort to erase the memories from my teens. Underneath the excitement of getting back into the hunt, I was terrified I'd slip back into the addiction again, but I knew what I had to do, and I got back into the car and drove down the road to Gage's. "

"Saying goodbye to Gage was nearly as hard as when I'd said goodbye to his father years before. He told me to stay strong, and to keep in touch. He had faith I'd stay clean, and that alone meant a lot to me. I made him promise to keep an eye on my house for me, and promised I'd call when I could, and set out on the drive to Colorado."

"I was rather casual about my arrival at Daniel's house. He of course didn't know who I was or why I was there, I acted as if he was expecting me. The meeting was rather..funny, looking back at it now" you laugh. "Knowing Daniel, I expect he held a gun aimed at your head most of the meeting." John chuckled. "You got it" you laugh. "Turns out, he was expecting me, he just didn't know I was the one he was expecting." You smirk.

_Colorado; 1982: "Knock, Knock..I know you're in there Daniel, might as well just open the door." I stated blandly leaning up against the front of his house, rapping my gun against his front door. The door opened slowly, and I straightened up to face him. "Who are you, what do you want?" He demanded. "First of all, that won't help you." I informed him shaking my head. "What won't help me?" He demanded. "The gun you have pointed at me through the door. I've heard about you Daniel Elkins. Famed hunter who specializes in vampires, but I'm not a vampire, so that large machete we both know you're thinking of reaching for won't help." I continued calling out his pre-meditated moves. His eyes narrowing each time I predicted his next step. "Secondly, I'm not anything that can be killed by silver, well technically that's not true, I could be, but I would have whatever weapon you chose out of your hand and pointed back at you so fast you won't know what happened." I stated pushing past him and into his cabin, turning around to face him to find he was still pointing the gun at me. "." He snarled, each word pronounced short and direct. "I can't. I was sent here by some very, well high powers I guess you could say." I smirked dropping onto the old couch and stretching my legs. "I have no clue what you're talking about." Daniel snarled. "Maybe, maybe not, but I'm not leaving. You see these "higher powers" are well really high up, you sorta just do what you're told with them." I continued holding his gaze. "Wait, higher powers..the angels. You're the angel girl?" Daniel asked lowering his weapon. "You got it! So teach', what's first?" I smirked. _

Present: "Man I would have loved to have been there for that meeting! I can't believe that's what started such a strong friendship!" John smiles shaking his head in disbelief. "Well it wasn't like we went from being sarcastic and cold to rainbows & unicorns with warm fuzzy feelings. It took us a hell of a long time to get to trust each other, and twice as long to cut down on the sarcasm" you explain smiling. " I knew the two of you as friends for basically 20 years, and you never cut back on the sarcasm." John smirks. "Ha. That's what you think." You smirk.

_Colorado 1982: "NO! You aren't getting it! If you don't take the time to study all of this you won't be able to help this new hunter!" Daniel explained clearly frustrated & exhausted. "Buddy, I lived through all of this! I really don't think I need to learn it again!" I replied rolling my eyes. "Look, the angels sent you to me for a reason, this would all go a lot easier, if you'd just get over the age factor and just listen!" Daniel snapped getting more agitated. "FINE!" I snapped back. "GOOD! Now.." Daniel began. "WAIT! I have a few conditions." I interrupted. "Brat." Daniel mutters. "I heard that, pup. Now, I'll agree to just listen but there will be no histories of famous hunters, cause I knew them and don't need to learn about them again. There will be no mention of my personal history unless I mention it. Got it?" I asked. "Fine, got it. Major events?" Daniel asks carefully. "Are fine. I'll admit I don't know every major hunting event, and I wasn't there for all of them I did know about." I admitted shyly. "Wow, so there is something you don't know." Daniel smirks. "Can we get on with this? We're on a deadline here, and I still have to work out how to weave my way into this budding hunter's life." I motioned for him to hurry up and proceed._

Present: "I'll admit, I learned a lot from Daniel. For someone who hadn't lived through many events, he sure knew a lot I didn't. I was amazed and ashamed at everything I'd missed in my drugged up state." You state calmly, smiling at the memory of your friend. "Did he know, about the addiction?" Sam asks quietly. "He did. The angels had mentioned I had had a few...issues. We had discussed why the angels were so interested in me, so I explained. He was very supportive, happy for me that I'd kicked the habit, and confident in me that I'd stay clean. That for me was a big step in our friendship. He barely knew me but he knew enough to have faith in me." You smile weakly. "You miss him" Ellen states placing a hand on your shoulder. "Yah, I guess I do. Didn't realize it with everything that's been going on" You mutter. "Did you keep your promise to Gage?" Jo asks breaking the moment. "I did, I called him a few times a week. He was eager to know what I was learning. And amazed there really were things I didn't know. I flew back to Montana around his birthday, it wasn't an overly happy event" you answer quickly. "Why not? What went wrong?" Dean asks curiously. "It's more a question of what didn't go wrong. He called me panicky one day. He was afraid that something had been trailing him, watching him. He wasn't hysterical but more overly nervous. Gage can handle things he can get his hands on or can see, but he gets agitated and frustrated when he knows there's something to fight be he can't see or feel it" you begin. "What happened?" Bobby asks. "I flew out four days before his birthday, and I took Daniel with me. After weeks of my explanations of the house and weapons and books I had, he was eager to explore" you continue.

_Great Falls, Montana;1982: "Do you always rush to help friends like this?" Daniel asked from the car seat next to me. "No. I never really had friends. The obsession with Lilith and the secret life, sorta prevented that. But even if I had, Gage is special. His dad was my first love, and the best friend I've ever had. I really screwed it up with Dallas, and I owe it to him not to do that with his son." I explain keeping my eyes locked on the road, pressing my foot harder into the gas pedal. We pulled up to the old white two story farmhouse with forest green trim, and immediately knew something was wrong. The door was open and the lights were on in random places throughout the house. I looked to Daniel, who looked rather confused and we pulled our weapons. I took the lead given it was familiar territory for me. As I took a few steps in the door, I heard something and motioned for Daniel to stop. The sound was far off, Daniel couldn't hear it, but I could. I took off for the back door, leaping over fallen furniture and broken glass, sprinting for the workshop at the back of the property where Gage had built himself a workshop. As I burst through the open back door, Daniel hot on my heels, I could hear Gage's voice, put couldn't find where it was coming from. "Come out you son of a bitch! I know you're hear somewhere! Come out!" Gage yelled into the dark. "GAGE? GAGE?" I shouted looking wildly around the empty workshop. "(name)! He's back here!" Daniel shouted motioning for me to follow. He was in the woods off to the right of the workshop, waving his flashlight & gun around wildly. "Gage! Calm down! Hey! Look at me!" I demanded wrestling the gun from him. "The damn thing is haunting me! It's haunting me! And I can't figure out what it is!" Gage explained angered. "Okay, calm down. I'm sure it'll all be fine." I reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "(name)! Look out!" Daniel shouted in time for me & Gage to duck out of the way of a flying tree. "What in the hell.." I muttered. "It's been doing that all damn week! Logs, lamps, couches!" Gage explained exasperated. "That explains the disastrous state of the house." I muttered. "Some of that was me actually" Gage admitted shyly. "Poltergeist?" Daniel asks shrugging. "Too personal I think" I replied shaking my head. "How do you know that? You haven't been here." Gage asked confused. "I noticed a few of the shattered family pictures when I ran through the house. Poltergeists tend to just go for mass destruction, not personalized brutality. Go pack a bag, you'll come stay with us. Until we figure this out. Come on, you look like you haven't slept in days" I pushed him towards the house. _

_As we got him back to the house, Daniel quizzed Gage endlessly. Was he sure it wasn't a poltergeist? When did it start? Does it say anything? Did he have any clue as to who or what it was? Did he find anything unusual before the haunting started? It was an endless stream of questions and Gage was getting more frustrated from constantly repeating himself. It escalated by the end of the 2__nd__ day. I came in from the garage to find them nearly at each other's throats at the end of my dining room table. "Listen bud! I can only tell you what I know so many times! So BACK OFF!" Gage snapped. "Listen kid, I know more than you do, I've been around longer, so there might be something you've overlooked or forgotten!" Daniel snapped back. "GUYS! Back off! The both of you!" I snapped getting in between them. "Tell grandpa here to back off before I send him flying out the door" Gage threatened. "Daniel, why don't you go downstairs, the room under the stairs is filled with books my father left me, see if there's something that can help" I instructed. "Are you kidding me! You're going to take the kid's side?" He demanded angrily. "NOW DANIEL!" I snapped, turning to face Gage. "Calm yourself down, right now. Because if you don't, it'll be you that goes flying out the door, and I just rebuilt those doors, so don't make me." I threatened placing my fist dead center on his chest. "Are you kidding me! You're taking his side!" He's been riding me since he got here!" Gage asked angrily. "I'm not on anyone's side! I'm trying to keep the peace! Now figure out a way to cool yourself down, cause if you don't, I'm going to give you one hell of a beating and put you in your place, got it?" I threatened angrily. "Got it. You're right. I need to cool down." Gage relaxed and turned to walk out the side door. "Where's the kid?" Daniel asked coming up the stairs carrying a box overflowing with books. "Outside cooling off, and do you have to do that?" I demanded. "Do what?" Daniel asked innocently. "Constantly ride him like that! He's a really smart kid! He learned from two of the best hunters I've ever known, give him some credit, and maybe some respect." I snapped turning for the kitchen._

_Dinner was frosty at best, and they both stayed clear of everyone for the next day and a half. Daniel immersed himself in research. Gage spent most of his time in my training room working out his frustrations. I spent my time between the two of them, but by the end of the third day, I was sick of playing referee and got curious, so I headed over to Gage's house by myself. _

Present: "What'd you find?" Sam & Dean ask curiously, smirking at each other for speaking at the same time. "Lots." You state.

_Great Falls, Montana; 1982: "Alright Mr. Ghosty..come out wherever you are." I muttered to myself wandering the house. It was fairly normal. Pictures of Dallas, his wife Jenna and Gage throughout the years. But it was when I went up to the master bedroom that I found what I didn't realize I'd been looking for. There on the bed was Dallas's leather jacket. And hanging out of the pocket was a picture of Dallas & me, taken in 1942 by Hunter. I remembered the day right down to the smell of Dallas's cologne. We'd decided to take a break from hunting and drove to meet Hunter in Washington. The picture was taken in a state park, on a little picturesque bench surrounded by flowers. We looked completely out of place. Dallas wore his leather jacket with a long-sleeved shirt underneath , dirty jeans and rough leather boots, he looked as he always did, ruggedly handsome. I wasn't far off. Tall leather boots over tight(for the 40's) jeans, a long sleeved sweatshirt and a green cargo jacket. The picture showed us at our happiest as a couple. It was one of the few days my mind wasn't stuck on the bad things in life. _

PRESENT: "What struck you as odd about that?" John asks. "I was quite clear on the fact that Dallas had been buried in that jacket. And quite certain that he'd died wearing it. Given the blood & dirt stains along with the vicious slashes in the jacket around where the ribs would be." I took off for the house, certain I'd figured it all out. Now, Gage knew about the relationship I'd had with his father. He was not aware however of the journals his father had left. No clue they were all addressed to me, no clue they existed and even less of a clue that his father had been miserable in his marriage. And that he wished that I had been Gage's mom. I had never offered these things, and we'd never discussed the details of my relationship with his father. As far as I was concerned, those journals were deeply personal, absolutely no need to share everything inside with anyone, especially Gage.

_Great Falls, 1982: As I raced back to my house, I didn't even bother to pull around to the garage. I stopped in front of the house and ran through the front door. "What is it? What's wrong?" Daniel demanded standing up suddenly, pulling his gun. "Put that way. I think I know who's haunting Gage, where is he?" I demanded. "Not sure, I made a comment earlier that pissed him off and he stormed off." Daniel explained shrugging. "Damn it Daniel! Is it that hard to get along?" I demanded taking off to look for him. I searched the entire house and the training room for him. The last place I expected to find him was in the guest house. The door was open a crack and as I went in I found the door in the floor open. I walked down the stairs and found the panic room door wide open. "What the hell are you doing down here?" I demanded. Gage was sitting on the cot on the far wall, frozen & silent. "Gage, how the hell did you get the code for down here?" I demanded again. "Why didn't you tell me?" He muttered angrily. "Excuse me? My property, I don't need to explain.." I began. "Not about the room. About these." He interrupted. "About what? What are you holding?" I asked turning on the lights. I actually gasped aloud when I saw what he was holding at, what his focus was on. There on the floor at his feet were the hundreds of journals his father had written for me from the time I took off for Prague to the day before he died. And the journal he had in his hands was the one I wished he'd never seen. It was the entry where Dallas stated, he realized his love for his wife was superficial. That real love was what we had. And he wished I had stayed so Gage could have been ours. "What are you doing with those" I demanded through clenched teeth._

"_Why didn't you tell me!" Gage demanded angrily. "That is none of your business! Those are personal!" I snapped snatching the journal out his hand, and quickly gathering the rest and placing them back in their box. "They involve me! That makes it my business!" Gage snapped standing up angrily. "NO! It doesn't! Those journals were never meant for anyone else to see but me! You had NO right to read them, let alone dig them out! What is wrong with you! I don't go digging through your personal packed away things!" I snapped storming towards the stairs box of journals in my arms. I knew he was on my tail and I walked straight to the side door, dropped the box and turned to face him. "You don't think it's my business that my father never loved my mother! That he lied and led her of for years? Hoping that you! The one who abandoned him would come back so he could leave her!" Gage roared. "NO! It isn't your business! Your father loved you! He may not have loved her as much as he loved me, but he loved you more than he'd loved anyone or anything in his entire life! The fact that you'd think those horrible things, let alone say them out loud is downright offensive! It's disrespectful and downright horrible! He gave his life protecting you!" I snapped, suddenly covering my mouth. "What?" Gage gawked. "Nothing. Never mind" I backtracked quickly. "I never, ever told you I'd been in the woods with him that day, where did you or how did you find that out?" Gage demanded walking towards me, fury on his face. "Nowhere, I just assumed!" I lied. "STOP lying to me! How did you know!" Gage demanded advancing. "Gage, back off. I don't want to hurt you." I warned, my muscles tensing in defence. "HOW DID YOU KNOW!" Gage roared again. "YOUR MOTHER!" I shouted quickly. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Back In Time Chapter 6**

THEN: You recount the story of how you met Daniel Elkins, and the panicked phone call from your good friend Gage Saint. You retell how you rushed back to Great Falls to help and the animosity between Daniel & Gage. You explain finding the Dallas's leather jacket on his old bed, when it should have been buried with him, and you explain about the picture hanging out of the pocket, a memory from the happiest times you had with him. As you rush back to your house to tell Gage of your findings and what they add up to, you find him in your panic room reading the journals his father left you, and he instantly becomes enraged that you never told him. Offended and enraged that he went through your private things you storm out of the panic room, box of journals in hand and he follows you. As you drop the box near the side door of your house you turn to face him and in the heat of argument you accidentally blurt out that Dallas died defending Gage. Gage demands how you knew that, when he never told you he'd been with his father that day, and you do your best to lie but he isn't fooled and demands to know.

_Great Falls, Montana, 1982: "HOW DID YOU KNOW!" Gage roars. "YOUR MOTHER!" I shouted quickly. "Wh..what?" Gage stammers taking a step backwards. I let out a sigh and covered my face, purposely ignoring his questing. "What did you say?" Gage asks again, confusion apparent on his face. "I said, your mother. Your mother told me, that's how I knew." I answered quietly. "But, the day I first met you, you asked me how Dad was, if my mother had talked to you about that day, then you must have known." Gage reasons, trying to make sense of what you told him. "When your mother told me about what happened, it didn't really connect in my mind, I was so strung out, that everything seemed unrealistic, like it was all just a very messed up dream, it wasn't until you told me he died, years later when I was completely sober that I actually understood that what she told me was the truth." I explained fighting back tears. "I don't, I don't understand." Gage stammered his whole body visibly shaking. "I'll explain, but please let's just go inside, we can talk once you're sitting down." I responded, walking over to him to help support him into the house, taking the box of journals in my free hand, and slamming the door shut with my foot. "What happened?" Daniel asked walking over to help me with Gage. "Is he hurt? Is that thing back?" Daniel asked panicking. "Calm down Daniel, he'll be fine, just help me sit him down on the couch and then please just give us some time to talk, alone." I explained sitting on the couch across from where we put Gage down. As Daniel left the room, Gage squared his shoulders and made eye contact. "Tell me, the truth this time." He demanded barely blinking. _

"_I'm sure you noticed that your mother became visibly depressed in the weeks after your father's death?" I asked slowly. "Of course" Gage responded. "A few days after your Dad died, I managed to find my way back to town, I didn't stay here though, I stayed at a motel a few miles down the road. My coming back to town had nothing to do with him though, I was just following a group of demons. But in the middle of the hunt I ran out of salt, and unfortunate for me the closest place to refill was my old house. So I came here, and as I came around the front, I came face to face with your mom. _

_Great Falls, Montana; August 8,1977: "Can I help you?" I asked sharply, stopping short. "You" She snarled, clearly recognizing me somehow, although I didn't know how at the time. "Do I know you?" I asked confused. "No, but I know you." She answered angrily. "I'm sorry, but who are you?" I asked growing more frustrated. "Jenna Saint." She responded quickly. It took me a moment to make the connection. "Saint? As in.." I stuttered taken off guard. "That's right as in Gage Saint's wife, the mother of his son..." She snapped pushing herself off the hood of her car. "Oh" was all I could muster. "That's it? That's all you have to say? After everything you've done!" She shouted taking a step forwards. "After what? What have I done?" I asked confused. "What haven't you done! How about never letting him have closure, how about being a constant presence in my marriage, in our bedroom, how about abandoning him! How about ruining my life! Do you know what's it's like to live in the shadow of someone else? DO YOU!" She shouted tears streaming down her face. "I, umm.. I don't understand.." I stuttered out, my mind was running in circles; Gage has a son? Gage is married? I need more grace..and soon, this is insane! _

"_You don't understand...well let me explain it for you! Since the moment I met Gage, he was an empty shell of a man who had clearly been heartbroken, and I was dumb enough to believe I could fix him! And when he proposed I thought "my god! I've done it!" but no, I didn't do anything, he was just settling for me.. and that was clear by the fact he was writing in those damn journals every single day.. and the fact that I asked him to stop hunting hundreds of times! He wasn't as strong or as agile as he used to be, and I was starting to wonder why, why he wouldn't just retire, or stop sneaking out at night, or disappearing for weeks at a time or teaching our son how to shoot a gun! So one day, I decided to figure it out, and I went into his study and found the journal he was writing.. it was addressed to you, just like they all were, and they were all about these crazy hunts he was going on or memories of hunts he went on with YOU!" She ranted not moving from where she stood, and leaving me dumbstruck. _

"_Do you get it now?" She demanded. "I..uh.." I stammered, too shocked to form words. "Everything he did was for you, he kept hunting hoping it would bring him closer to you, when we made love after a hunt it was passionate and incredible, and in the beginning I thought it was just the adrenaline, and then I started realizing it was the complete opposite if he didn't hunt, if he hadn't hunted in weeks it was loveless, empty.. and then it hit me, it wasn't me he was wanting to make love to after those hunts it was you. You were always the one he wanted and when I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it! " Jenna roared again, her eyes bloodshot from crying and her voice growing hoarse from yelling. "That isn't my fault, I told him I wouldn't be coming back..he had opportunities to move on, it isn't my fault he didn't." I defended, knowing somewhere deep down I was lying. "Are you that naive?" Jenna demanded. "Well thanks to you he's dead. I hope that satisfies you." Jenna shouted. "What? He's.." I stammered taken aback again. "Dead. That's right." She shouted finishing my sentence for me. "How..how long?" I asked, voice cracking with the stress. "Less than a week. We had a fight, about you of course, I'd found a picture in his jacket, of you and him, so naturally I confronted him about it. Meanwhile while we're yelling our son had had enough and left to go hunting, alone, something he wasn't allowed to do. He got attacked and when we heard him yell, Dallas took off running with no weapons other than the gun he kept in his jeans. It ripped him apart, and when I found them in the woods, he was lying in our son's arms bleeding to death, in that moment I forgot everything we'd ever argued about and ran to his side, and do you know what his last words were?" Jenna asked tearfully. "I love you (name)." Not my name, not our son's name, but your name. I carried his child, made a life with him, and you abandoned him and broke his heart, and in the end.. it was still you he loved." She collapsed to the ground sobbing, and I stood there dumbstruck, with no clue what to say or do.. so I turned back towards the forest and left. _

Present: "Wow." Bobby breathes. "Mhm, that about sums it up." Dean mutters. "How'd Gage take that?" John asks from across the room. "How would you take that?" You ask back. "Not well." John answers. "Exactly" You respond.

_Great Falls, Montana; 1982: "I had no idea all the times they fought it was about you. That would explain it then.." Gage muttered. "Explain what? Your father's death?" I asked confused. "No, my mother's." Gage whispered. "So Jenna is dead ?" I asked shocked. "Mhm, she died August 10,1977, she killed herself.." Gage responded softly. "That would explain it.. " I mumbled. "Explain what?" Gage asked suddenly confused. "What's haunting you... I suspected that's who it might be. After what I found at the house" I started to explain. "What you found at the house? What did you find at my house?" Gage demanded. "Your dad's jacket, laid out on the bed, with the picture of us hanging out of the pocket" I continued. "That's not possible, Dad was buried in the jacket, he died in that jacket." Gage stammered. "I gathered that by the stains on the jacket, but it's there... and knowing now that your mother killed herself, I'd say we're looking a very real possibility that it's her that's haunting you." I explained. "Why? Why would my own mother haunt me?" Gage asked confused. "Because of me. She blames me Gage, and here you are, her own son, having weekly dinners with me, laughing with me, talking about your Dad with me, she feels betrayed." I continued. "That isn't her decision, that isn't her choice! You're my friend! Dad would have wanted us to be friends!" Gage shouted standing up quickly. "I get that! But she's a very angry spirit now Gage! Reason doesn't really come into it!" I reasoned. "I won't live with her haunting me, will you help me?" He asked quickly. "Help you?" I asked confused. "I need to do what should have been done in the first place." He responded straightening himself to his full height. "And what is that?" I asked "Burn their remains. Dad would have never wanted to be buried, Mom insisted he be though, I need to finish this, will you help?" Gage asked placing his hands on my shoulders. "Of course" I replied. _

PRESENT: "So did you? Help I mean?" Jo asks. "I did. We left for the cemetery, he dug up his mother's grave and I dug up Dallas'. I said my goodbyes to Dallas and my apologies to Jenna, and afterwards, we salted and burned the bones." You explain quietly. "Did you stay after that?" Sam asks "No. Gage was eager to not stay around moping, so he took off the next morning with a packed car and said he'd be in touch. I still hear from him once in a while, but things were never the same with us after that, not that I blame him. Anyways! Daniel and I left the next morning and went back to Colorado where we had a special guest waiting for us." You continue. "Let me guess, Michael?" Dean smirked. "Why..how did you know?" You respond sarcastically.

_Colorado, Early December 1982: "Did you sort everything out?" He asked from the shadows. "Well hello to you too Michael, and yes, everything is sorted out." I responded my voice thick with sarcasm. "Have you figured out how you'll become John Winchester's friend?" He asked, ignoring my sarcasm. "Not yet, but Daniel and I are working something out, so I can figure that out. Don't worry.. I'll make it happen." I responded with a yawn. "You're tired get some rest. By the way, he'll be arriving here in late February.. that gives you just over 2 months.." Michael instructed before disappearing. "Bye to you too!" I muttered into thin air. _

PRESENT: "Daniel and I did our best to find out as much information as we could in those two months, but other than the fire, there wasn't anything. By the time late January arrived, we finally agreed on a simple but practical plan. We knew that you would somehow find your way to Daniel in late February, so when the middle week of February came it was decided I would go stay at a nearby hotel until you arrived. For the first few weeks, Daniel would learn about you, all the while relaying the information to me so I could decide what to do. You had been there about a week when I found my in.." You explain smiling at the three Winchesters.

_Colorado; March 1, 1983: **Ring, Ring** , I rolled over towards the noise and opened an eye when I realized it was the phone, only one person had this number. "Hello?" I answered groggily. "He's got kids." Daniel mumbled into the phone. "What? Who?" I asked confused, sitting up in bed. "John..he's got two boys. Young too. It's what's been holding him back. He's got no one to watch them.." Daniel explained. "Well, that does present an interesting situation doesn't it.. Next time you tell him that you want to take him on a long hunt and he mentions how he can't leave his kids for long, mention that you know a great girl who has an excellent record for babysitting." I explained fully awake now. "He won't go for it..it's leaving his kids unprotected that worries him." Daniel explained. "I know that! Which is why when he says that, you explain that this girl you know, happens to be a very talented hunter" I continued. "Now that, might just work." Daniel agreed. "How long until he comes over?" I asked standing up and stretching. "Twenty minutes. And then I'll need another twenty to set up the scenario.." He planned out over the phone. 'Great, that gives me time to get ready, I'll be expecting a phone call in 45 minutes.." I hung up and walked to the shower to get ready. _

_**Daniel Elkin's house, an hour later: "Look, I'm not overly set on leaving my kids in the hands of a stranger." John worried. "Trust me, she's one of the best, if I had kids, I'd trust her with them, hell I trust her with my life.. she's good.. really good." Daniel soothed. "When is she getting here?" John asked anxiously. "Anytime know." Daniel answered. **Knock, knock, knock** "There she is." Daniel walked to the door and swung it open. "Thanks for coming so soon." He said loud enough for John to hear in the other room, all the while winking at me. "Not a problem, always happy to help, you know that." I responded cheerfully. As I followed Daniel into the other room I held my breath, at the realization that I was about to meet the future hunter that might save us all. "John, this is (name), the girl I was telling you about." Daniel introduced us gracefully. "Hi" John greeted nervously. "Nice to meet you John" I smiled warmly. "Daniel tells me you've got two boys? I'd be happy to watch them for you, I know that Daniel's anxious to take you out and teach you some things." I continued. "Well, I uhh.. they don't take well to strangers.. I'm not so sure." John tried to reason. "I'm great with people, kids especially, they usually tend to gravitate to me, it helps I'm a great cook.." I coaxed. "Well, I guess that would be alright, I supposed if Daniel trusts you.." John gave in. _

PRESENT: "Winchester men, always a sucker for a beautiful smile..." Bobby laughed. " I knew you looked familiar when we first met on the road!" Dean exclaimed. "I only met you both the once, once your dad trusted me, he started getting curious about my hunting abilities, and with a little bit of prodding from Daniel, finally insisted I be the one to take him on some hunts to teach him.. so he started dropping you off at other hunter's.. Pastor Jim, Caleb.." You explain pleased with the outcome of your efforts. "And we've been great friends ever since.. and to think.. here I thought it was fate..." John interrupts sarcastically. "Haha, nope...just angels." You laugh. "So that's it.. my big secret... my long, horrible past. " You slump into the couch exhausted. "Well that is some story.." Ellen sighs. "Definitely.. now what?" Sam asks. "Now you get back to focusing on the situation at hand." A voice from the door instructs, making everyone but you jump. "Michael.. you need to stop doing that.. I'm used to it but these guys are just getting used to Cas doing it..last thing we need is one of them dying from a heart attack" You scold. "I apologize.. however know that everyone is up to speed on the past, it is time to focus on the present.. you all need your rest, begin discussing the present in the morning." Michael instructed before disappearing. "Yes Sir" Dean muttered. "He's right.. it's been a very long day.. I'll make breakfast in the morning.. but for now it's late.. let's hit the hay." You yawn walking towards the stairs, Sam/Dean/Cas wrapping an arm around your waist.

**Hours later: **BANG BANG BANG** You snap up in bed disoriented and confused, Dean/Sam/Cas sitting up beside you. "What the hell was that?" He asks confused. "No clue.." You mutter. **BANG BANG BANG**. "Okay seriously.. what the hell!" You snap angrily throwing on a sweatshirt and pants and grabbing your gun from the nightstand. As you reach the bottom of the stairs you hear it again. **BANG BANG BANG** "Who the hell is banging on your front door at 2AM?" John asks groggily from behind you. "No clue.."You mutter reaching for the door handle. As you open the door there standing in your doorway is a tall man covered in blood.. "Oh my god! Gage?" You ask eyes widened in shock. "Help.." He mumbles before collapsing head first into your arms. "HELP!" You yell up towards the stairs.


End file.
